"April 28th 2003:
I wrote stuff last night, but it wouldn't let me post. So I saved it on my computer, but that is there, and this is here (in school). lol I'm going to post that first chance i get, but I need to write now, so I will be redundant, whatever, I think I will forgive myself.
When was the last time that I was this happy? When I was this sick?! Didn't get much sleep last night, partly because I kept caughing, and felt like I was going to suffocate, and partly cus I was so damn jittery. Eeeeeeeee Really, only Derek made me jittery like this before.
Funny how easily I lost interest in him. After talking to another boy one day.
Ugh, I am sick. Sickness is not fun. Going now so that I don't get in trouble.
I want to write, but I feel so pathetic! So obsessive! and I don't even know the guy. Ahhhhh Think of what a bitch it will be to get over him when I am forced to accept the fact that he will never like me back!"
i didn't quite know what to write, i wanted to say something about mat, but i've said it all a million times. then i thought to check and see what i had to say a year ago. THAT'S FUCKING HILLARIOUS. well to me it is anyway. i am sick right now, all gross feeling. teeheehee just like a year ago, i do that... get sick and stuff at the same time every year. i'll be depressed on the same day two years in a row for the same reason, i know because i'll have written it in one of my journals. it's weird to open up a notebook to talk about something, and seeing that a year ago (the last entry in the notebook) you felt the same way. anywho, mat.... what's changed?
i still feel pathetic, less so than then. i feel more validated in my feelings.
i am obsessive.
i do think that i can say that i know him now, i probably know him better than most people do.
i love that last line... it makes me giggle everytime i read it. yes, yes it does suck to get over him, i tried a few times, but it didn't work out so well. he did like me though. i was so set on the idea that he would never have an interest in me, but he did. sucker.
